Crazy

It turns out I may actually be a little bit crazy.  I have had my suspicions for some time now, but my son's recent diagnosis has confirmed my feelings.  My son has been diagnosed with PANDAS, a very rare condition that causes debilitating OCD, anxiety, regression, sensory issues, sleep issues, movement problems, etc.  Just when I thought we had exhausted all the autism treatments out there, he receives this new diagnosis that brings with it a whole new set of (expensive) treatment options.  I can't tell you how excited my husband was to find out that there is still a chance that I can drive us into bankruptcy within the next few years.  In researching this condition I discovered that almost all parents of PANDAS children suffer from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).  In reading the symptoms I have decided that this may very well be the case with me, especially when it comes to health or nutrition issues.  Walking into the grocery store is a nightmare for me.  It is like being in a house of horror.  Everywhere I turn there is a new terror lurking.  The entire time I hear the demonic chanting "Can we get this."  I want to curl up in the fetal position and go to my happy place, but I know the only escape is to get out as fast as I can.  Waiting to check out, I pry my son's hands off a bag of M&Ms and replace it with a lighter.  For a split second fire seems less dangerous thane colorings and preservatives not to mention the sugar.  Glancing at the woman's cart in front of me I fight off the urge to call social services after assessing the items half hidden by her toddler.  Macaroni and Cheese, Ramen, Chips, two cartons of ice cream; oh the horror!  But wait!  There behind the twelve pack of root beer is a package of baby carrots.  Please say they are organic.